Saturday, September 16, 2006

I Would Prefer Not To

Today the temptation to peruse the Job list, which recently went live two days ago, was very strong. Supposedly it is blooming with jealousy-inducing early modernist jobs. Oscar Wilde said: "I can resist everything but temptation."

But I resisted.

I won't I won't I won't I won't look at that list.

Just thinking about ever applying for anything again, interviewing, suddenly wanting something so badly, and if I'm lucky moving, oh god, moving, fills me with anxiety.

I'm also receiving my first invitations to apply for jobs this year. When I got the first e-mail I started to have a panic attack, instead of sitting back and feeling flattered. Maybe this is due in part to being in my first month of a tenure-track job: what doesn't cause a panic attack, at this point?

So if you ask me whether I've seen the job list, the answer is that I would prefer not to.

Whether I can restrain myself is a different quesiton entirely.

I certainly haven't been very good at restraining my imagination these days. Today especially.

5 comments:

Jonathan said...

Well, if it makes you nuts, don't do it. But one of the secrets of this business appears to be that it's easiest to move (for you and for suitors) right after you've made a move.

So if there is a job you WANT, apply. If you don't get it, you still have your good job.

Nick said...

I agree with Jonathan. But I told you that already.

By the way I've just noticed that you have RSS on the site. Thanks! (Has it always been there or have I just noticed it now?) I can now keep up to date without having to check.

muse said...

n-- I think blogger finally caught up with the rest of the RSS world (I didn't do anything, alas).

Interesting point, j. I keep hearing mixed things. In my field a lot of folks who apply for jobs in their first year on a job don't get anything and are advised to wait until their 2nd or 3rd year. But I don't know exactly whether this year counts as year 1 or year 2 for me.

My Ph.D. advisor said it was probably too early for me, but she's always been extra cautious.

I'm mostly just afraid to look at the list because I don't want to become obsessed with the market and lose focus with my work here. In English, being on the market ends up consuming one's entire fall semester, whether one applies for 1 or 40 jobs. Yick.

Diogenes Teufelsdröckh said...

I agree with Jonathan that this has to be about looking for a job you want, rather than finding a best exit from a decent job you trick yourself into thinking isn't good enough.

I don't think Scarborough or a lot of other Canadian places would give you the spark you want, after Montreal. Hang in there, do as the Romans do, and visualize Elsie's on a bracing December day.

Jonathan said...

DT's right and you're right about the consciousness thing (though we only learn that AFTER we try and write our dissertations while going on the market). I guess once you're set the rules ought not be "right time" so much as "right fit". If it's the dream job and you're being recruited, go for it. If it's just questioning your current surroundings, don't give it another thought.