Today the temptation to peruse the Job list, which recently went live two days ago, was very strong. Supposedly it is blooming with jealousy-inducing early modernist jobs. Oscar Wilde said: "I can resist everything but temptation."
But I resisted.
I won't I won't I won't I won't look at that list.
Just thinking about ever applying for anything again, interviewing, suddenly wanting something so badly, and if I'm lucky moving, oh god, moving, fills me with anxiety.
I'm also receiving my first invitations to apply for jobs this year. When I got the first e-mail I started to have a panic attack, instead of sitting back and feeling flattered. Maybe this is due in part to being in my first month of a tenure-track job: what doesn't cause a panic attack, at this point?
So if you ask me whether I've seen the job list, the answer is that I would prefer not to.
Whether I can restrain myself is a different quesiton entirely.
I certainly haven't been very good at restraining my imagination these days. Today especially.