Thursday, May 25, 2006

Alternate Identity Candidates, Round One

Here are some candidates for my alternate identity.

Candidate No. 1

  • Name: Emma Curtain
  • Occupation: Undercover Agent
  • Alias: Murasaki
  • Special Skills: Fluent in 12 languages including 4 dead ones; Hapkido; seduction; contortion; sharpshooter; Beating the Fuck out of People when they least expect it
  • History: a foundling discovered on the doorstep of a convent in Fiesole, Emma was raised by Latin-speaking nuns until a group of maroon-clad British gentlemen reclaimed her on her 12th birthday. From then on, she was trained in the secret art of espionage, whilst attending Oxford, Cambridge, the Sorbonne, and UT Austin simultaneously.
  • Age: If I told you that, I'd have to kill you.
  • Nemesis: Emma's arch rival is an escaped hillbilly convict currently posing as a distinguished professor.
Candidate No. 2

  • Name: Saffron
  • Aliases: Minou, Little Face, Daemon, Antic, Shnook
  • Occupation: Cat
  • Special Skills: Purring loudly, grasping objects with paws, getting exactly what she wants all the time, hunting, sleeping 20 hours per day, luxuriating, stretching, sleeping some more, being cute.
  • History: adopted at 9 weeks, spoiled for 4 years. And counting. Has a love/hate relationship with the outdoors.
  • Age: 4
  • Nemeses: Le Chat Baiyge, violinists, mobile phones

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